Chapter Fifteen: What Next?


     As I was driving home one evening in 2004, my longtime friend John Doyle asked me  impatiently, “What do you want to do with you life?”

     In traffic, I repeated from my cell phone, “What do I want to do with my life?”

     He persisted, “Yeah. Do you want to get married or do you want to keep being godmother to all those kids?” He was referring to the many I mentor.

     Little did he know, I was pondering the same question.

     I said, “Funny you should ask that. I'm writing the last chapter in my book. I have been giving a lot of thought to the same question lately.”

     He repeated, “So, what do you want to do with your life?”

     I paused. “Well,” I took my time answering, “I want to place my feet more gently on the earth. Maybe I'd like a companion to spend the rest of my life with.”

     He asserted, “You need to get you a companion first.”

     Then we got into our usual mating dance that always ends with our mutual self-conscious laughter. Ours is a long and complex relationship. We have a deep friendship and love for each other. We also banter back and forth regularly.

     "What do you want to do with your life?"

     Driving, I kept thinking about John’s question after we hung up.

     One thing is certain. I am beginning to walk more gently on the earth.

     Looking out my living room window calms me. I have begun to appreciate watching the roses bloom in my front yard, one at a time. I enjoy moments of solitude as I look out my front window past the birch trees that hover over me. I enjoy my protective trees and watch in awe as they change their appearance with the seasons. I see the squirrels running up and down them year round.

     I love to watch and listen to the birds. I see and hear the chirping sparrows that remind me God's eye is on me. I see the non stop hummingbirds suspended mid air and blackbirds lined up along my white picket fence. The blackbirds seem to stand guard along my fence in protection of me. There are occasional cats that enter my yard. They stay for a moment and then they are on their way.

     On two occasions, sparrows flew into my home. One I discovered at the start of a new day. That meant he had been in my home overnight without me even knowing it.

    The presence of sparrows in my home those two times seemed to be a reminder that I, like the sparrow, am being watched over as I take my next step.


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